Miriam O'Callaghan is 'still angry' about sudden family loss
Miriam O’Callaghan has revealed that the death of her sister Anne, followed just weeks later by the death of her father, left her angry with God.
The broadcaster’s sister Anne died of stomach cancer at just 33, leaving behind a two-year-old and a four-year-old, and eight weeks later, Miriam’s father died suddenly after suffering a stroke.
Miriam said she and her sister, who were born just a year apart, were more like twins their whole lives.
Miriam with her eight children and her mother Miriam Pic: Miriam O’Callaghan/Instagram
Miriam had her first daughter at 26, and by their early thirties, the sisters had six little girls between them.
They would meet up most weekends so the cousins could play and Miriam could catch up with Anne.
Speaking to Muireann O’Connell on the Parting Words podcast, the presenter was asked who she was angry with, to which she replied: ‘God’.
Miriam O’Callaghan and her husband Steve Carson. Pic: Sasko Lazarov/Photocall Ireland
‘Because, I kind of used to think Muireann if you were a really good person like my parents and you worked hard and you looked after your five children and you did no wrong and you believed in God, and you did everything you were meant to do in life then life would treat you fairly but it doesn’t it doesn’t work like that Muireann,’ she explained.
‘And I realised that in that moment, for the first time.’
Earlier on the same podcast, Mirian revealed the diagnosis, and Anne’s death seemed to come from nowhere.
Miriam O’Callaghan. Pic: Fran Veale
Anne mentioned her stomach had been bothering her, but at the time, Miriam didn’t think it was serious.
‘We were exhausted anyway — we had tiny children,’ she said. ‘I said, ‘I know what you have. You have a stomach ulcer.’
Anne arranged to have tests at St Vincent’s University Hospital while Miriam was working nearby at RTÉ.
Miriam O’Callaghan. Pic: Brian McEvoy
But when Miriam arrived to collect her sister afterwards, something immediately felt wrong.
‘When I walked into the day unit, all the nurses were standing around,’ she recalled. ‘I immediately clocked — this is unusual.’
Within five months, Anne had passed away.
‘How is that possible?’ Miriam said. ‘She was 33. She had a two-year-old, a four-year-old and a gorgeous husband. I literally could not believe it.’
The loss left Miriam grappling with an anger she had never experienced before.
‘I’m not an angry person. It takes a lot for me to get angry,’ she said. ‘But I’m still angry about my sister.’
‘I mean, death is inevitable for us all. We know that, but not when you’re 33 and not when you’re a young mother. So I was just really angry that life stole her away.’
Miriam said the day her sister was buried, she decided to change her life going forward, ‘I thought, this is it. Life is not for messing around.’
‘We only have a short time here. We are a blink in the universe. I decided to live my life to the full and enjoy it,’ she said.
Just weeks later, the family was struck again when her father died suddenly after suffering a stroke while out collecting Anne’s memorial cards.
Miriam revealed a piece of advice from a consultant who treated Anne has helped her cope with her grief.
‘He said to me, ‘Miriam, you’re not meant to get over the loss of someone you love. You just learn to live with it,’ she recalled. ‘I always found that very reassuring.’
Despite everything she has been through, Miriam says she has never been someone who fears death.
‘I never worry about death. I’m not frightened of it,’ she said.
‘I know one day I will leave this world, hopefully going to heaven. But why would I waste one second thinking about dying when I can spend all day loving my life?’
