Spencer Matthews admits 'I knew that I'd lose her' as he opens up on Vogue Williams 'struggles'
Spencer Matthews feared he would lose Vogue Williams when he was drinking(Image: PA)Spencer Matthews admits he knew he would “lose” wife Vogue Williams as he battled against alcohol addiction. It comes as Spencer has opened up about how Vogue “struggles” to settle down at night.The former Made in Chelsea star has been open about his struggles with drinking. He says he would often find himself drinking 10 pints a night and then going out with clients at night when working as a city trader.Spencer feared he “could have died” while drinking and recalls one particularly poignant night when Vogue, who has just entered the I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! jungle, was away and he was drinking on his own.Speaking on Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place podcast, the 37-year-old said: “I love life as an experience. And I think it's interesting to hit those moments where you feel like a loser and you feel s*** about your behaviour. And, you know, I remember this one night, I drank a bottle of whiskey and, you know, I was calling friends to see if they wanted to come over.“I was on my own, Vogue was away, filming something, working, doing really well, you know, being this person that everyone adores and everyone loves. And I just felt like a f*****g loser. Like I felt like a f*****g loser.Spencer and Vogue share three children together“I was calling my friends and slurring down the phone, ‘Do you want to come round’, and everyone’s just saying, ‘No mate, it’s a Tuesday night or whatever,’ and eventually one of my friends came around and took one look at me and put my arm over his shoulder, walked me to my bedroom, lay me down and left.”Spencer says he felt "embarrassed" by the move, which spurred him towards quitting drinking. The move saw Spencer pivoting towards health and fitness as he went on to run 30 marathons in 30 days across the desert in Jordan.He is currently embarking on his latest endurance feat, Project Se7en, in which he will complete seven triathlons, one in every continent including Antarctica. He now says he will have “two or three margaritas, and then I'll pump the brakes and I'll stop, because I know what happens if I don't”.Spencer and Vogue met in 2017(Image: BAFTA via Getty Images)Meanwhile Spencer, who shares three children with 40-year-old Vogue, admits that while he can settle down and give himself a break, his wife struggles. He added: “We’re both pretty busy and if Vogue has a day off she’ll reorganise all of the kid’s clothes.”He continued: “You’ll never catch her just sitting down and reading a book. She reads at night and we get into bed and stuff. We get into bed like everyone but she struggles with that."She gets mum guilt and guilt during the day if she feels that she should be working when she’s not.”Spencer meanwhile admits his “plate is full” as he juggles his podcast, Untapped, along with his alcohol-free spirit business CleanCo and his triathlon challenge. The former reality TV star met Vogue while filming Channel 4’s The Jump in 2017.Their relationship blossomed and they got engaged during a trip to the Lion King in London’s West End in January 2018. In June that year they married at the Glen Affric estate in Scotland, which is owned by Spencer’s family. They share children Theodore, Gigi and Otto together.
