Katherine Ryan on her four experiences of childbirth
As a mum of four, Katherine Ryan is well aware of both the ups and downs of childbirth.
And the outspoken comedian, who gave birth to her latest baby seven-and-a-half months ago, is keen to stress that nothing about the birth process should be embarrassing or taboo – including the fact that many women poo in labour.
Ryan, 42, who hosts her own aptly-named podcast Telling Everybody Everything, is happy to not only reveal, but talk in utterly unselfconscious detail about how she pooed in two of her four labours.
She tells the Press Association: "With the latest baby, I did poo in front of England’s most handsome doctor, and I’ve shared that experience because I do think it’s important to be really candid and transparent about those things."
The comedian and actress is fronting a new Andrex #MyLabourPoo campaign, which aims to break the stigma surrounding the labour poo and get mums sharing their birth stories online, after campaign research found 75% of mums fear the labour poo, while 13% weren’t even aware it might happen – and were completely unprepared when it did.
"A lot of women are really terrified about pooing in labour, and that’s a very understandable fear," says Ryan.
"I think we’re socialised not to do it, but I worry. I’ve had four natural labours, and I’ve pooed 50% of those times, and it didn’t matter – I feel like it’s the least exciting thing that happened on the day.
"I feel lucky to have my health and my babies and my mental health, and I just want to spread the message that pooing in labour is very normal and it’s nothing to worry about, because no-one will remember."
Ryan has three children – seven-month-old baby Holland, Fenna, aged three, and Fred, aged five – with her partner Bobby Kootstra, as well as a 16-year-old daughter, Violet, from a previous relationship, and she recalls: "In my first two labours I didn’t poo, and then with my third labour I had my daughter Fenna at home, and I remember well, because I didn’t have drugs I knew I’d pooed a little bit.
"I remember a little strainer going into the birthing pool, and nobody said a word, they just whisked it away. No one’s going to make an issue out of it, they certainly don’t mention it."
But she points out that far from being an embarrassing occurrence, a labour poo is actually a good thing, because it means the birth is imminent.
"It only happens at the last minute, " she explains. "That’s why it’s such a good thing, because it means your labour is almost done.
"When my last daughter was coming out, I got on to the table and I could just tell again that I’d pooed just a very little bit, and I said to the midwife ‘I definitely have pooed’, and she goes ‘Well, we don’t know for sure’, as she was just whisking it away. They would never make an issue of it – quite the opposite."
However, she says being frightened of pooing when you’re in labour is totally understandable, and stresses: "I wouldn’t gaslight women by saying pooing in front of doctors and your partner isn’t a big deal – I think it’s a valid thing for you to consider, and I don’t think you’re strange for worrying about it.
"However, once it’s happened, you won’t notice, you won’t remember, and you certainly won’t care."
But she points out that being anxious about losing control of your bowels in labour could actually prolong childbirth. "I just think that if you’re holding back in any way, then you could risk a prolonged labour or more interventions. So, you might as well just focus on what matters, and that’s getting that baby out safely, and keeping yourself safe as well, and I just promise you won’t care about the rest."
Part of the problem, she says, is that mothers-to-be are often afraid to talk about the more unpleasant aspects of the birth process – although they might quietly obsess about them.
"I think they’d obsess about it less if we spoke about it," she observes. "The more information you have, the more you feel empowered, and you’re not worried because someone’s explained to you.
"But this unmentioned element, I think, is whispered about in Reddit threads or comment sections, or between friends after a glass of wine, and that’s what gives it its mystery, and that’s why people obsess about it, because they just don’t know about it."
As an experienced mother, Ryan clearly knows all about the best and worst of childbirth – and, consequently, the best and worst of looking after four children, which she describes as "intense".
"I’m very privileged because my husband stays home, and we do have a babysitter," she says.
"But I keep saying to people who have older children ‘If you were raising your children in the Eighties, you could be mean to them if you wanted to, but now they expect to be entertained 24 hours a day’.
"So we co-sleep with the three youngest, and we tend to their needs immediately, and we never get them in trouble, and we are such gentle parents, so it’s intense to parent that way – to feel like you’re never off the clock 24 hours a day."
She says she’s tried to work "all along" as well, and is away from home a lot filming, but she and Koostra manage the parenting between them.
"And I think because we have the context of Violet being nearly 17 years old, we do know that it’s temporary, and our marriage has not yet dissolved.
She adds, with a chuckle: " We’re hanging in there, but we’re very tired, and we have no friends."
Katherine Ryan is fronting the new Andrex #MyLabourPoo campaign.
