Why every parent of daughters should know what the term 'bop' means
While the word 'bop' will make boomers, Gen X-ers and even millennials think of a school disco or an awkward dance, it has very different connotations for today's teenagers.In fact, 'bop', 'school bop' and 'lala bop', terms which adults of all ages may reasonably consider harmless, have taken on new meaning and are being used to shame young girls by labelling them as promiscuous. For teenagers, both online and offline, 'bop' is a derogatory slang term for a supposedly promiscuous woman who 'bops' between different men. 'Sl**-shaming' - when someone criticises another person, usually a girl or woman, for their real or perceived sexual behaviour - is nothing new, but social media sites like TikTok have allowed it to take on new forms and develop on a much larger scale. And, according to US website Parents, this novel form of sl**-shaming goes even further than name-calling since 'users claim to provide digital proof, whether real, taken out of context or entirely fabricated.'Calling someone a 'bop' or 'school bop' as an insult based on their supposed sexual history started a few years ago when someone posted a song called 'Lala Bop' - and there are now more than 321,000 TikTok posts with the hashtag '#bop'.Titania Jordan, Chief Parent Officer at Bark Technologies and co-author of Parenting in a Tech World, took to TikTok herself to warn parents that their children - and especially their daughters - might be being targeted.In a video that's been viewed more than 3.1 million times, Titania said: 'What's "Lala bop"? I'm so glad you asked. It's not kind and it's a trend that started in late 2022 when a TikTok user posted a song by that same name. Titania Jordan (pictured), Chief Parent Officer at Bark Technologies and co-author of Parenting in a Tech World took to TikTok herself to warn parents that their children - and especially their daughters - might be being targeted The term 'Lala bops' is used extensively in cyber bullying situations, the parenting expert warned'The song has since started being used in call out videos that shame people for allegedly dating around or being promiscuous.'Lala bop has also evolved to become a general video call out for any sort of ill-favoured behaviour.'Someone may be targeted really for anything deemed negative.'Not surprisingly, lala bops are used extensively in cyber bullying situations.'Unfortunately, lala bops are most commonly directed at females as it implies that they have a high "body count", which is slang for how many people someone has hooked up with.'Lala bops may not even be true and could just be vicious rumours circulating.' One example, which was posted on Facebook, shows two teenagers 'recreating' a situation where a boy has been spotted hanging out with the supposed 'school bop'. Read More Adolescence star is back on screens in new five-star thriller on BBC - and it's just as chilling In the video, the boy is seen holding the girl's hand as they walk together. As soon as they come into view of others, however, he shakes her off and appears uninterested all of a sudden. The caption reads, 'How mans move when they get caught talkin' to the school bop', while the boy says sarcastically, 'How is she a bop? She has 66 bodies—it's average.'The reference to '66 bodies', as Titania Jordan pointed out, is another way of saying the girl has had 66 sexual partners. The video not only engages in slut-shaming, reinforcing gender stereotypes, but also makes fun of those who associate with the person who's being shamed.Another TikTok video, which has been viewed 1.9 million times, also seeks to shame girls as 'bops'. Posted by the account @thematthewsfamliy, it features an image of a young girl with the caption '17 bodies at 13 is crazy' written across her face and then another image of a middle-aged woman with the caption 'your daughter a big bop'.The video then appears to reveal 'the daughter in question' before going on to shame her father. The comments below the clip only continue and add to the public shaming by putting emphasis on the girl's supposed sexual history.One person wrote: 'I’m almost 20 and mine is no where near 17 what!!??'Another exclaimed: 'NO WAY??' A third video takes a different tact with South Africa-based influencer Nicca, who goes by @niccamassynxx, aiming to draw attention to the proliferation of the bullying term and turn the shame back on those who use it as an insult. She tells her 228,500 followers: 'So I just found out what a 'bop' is. Y'all are nasty. South Africa-based influencer Nicca's video aims to draw attention to the proliferation of the bullying term and turn the shame back on those who use it as an insult'I thought "bop" is maybe like "Baddie on Point" or, I dunno, like "Bibbity, Bobbity, Boo" or, you know, the High School Musical movie and they go "bop bop bop bop to the top".'The clip ends with Nicca covering her mouth with her hand and shaking her head in disgust. Being targeted as a supposed 'bop', whether in real life or in an online video, could be extremely harmful for a young woman.In the case of online content, it is being beamed around the world and becomes very difficult to eliminate. Those affected may find it extremely difficult to shake off a TikTok clip, which could lead to them being ostracised at school, and could in turn have a negative impact on their mental health. To try to minimise the damage that those using 'bop' as an insult can do, parenting expert Titania Jordan encourages parents to recognise the social media videos as 'a teachable moment'. In her own TikTok video, she explained that this kind of content provides an opportunity 'to discuss the lasting implications of hurtful words, gossip or memes posted on social media.'For the lala bop trend specifically, it's an opportunity to talk about three things with your kids: consent, digital literacy and judgement.'In terms of 'consent', parents are encouraged to ask children to consider if someone has the right to post a video in which they brand someone a 'bop'.For 'digital literacy', Titania wants parents to help children question why someone would spread damaging stories about someone else.And, when it comes to 'judgement', parents should see that their offspring question what gives someone the right to call another person a 'bop', with all its negative connotations.
