Remember me
We often get the urge to laugh at the worst possible moment — a funeral, a hospital waiting room, or the middle of a very serious conversation.
Don’t worry, you are not alone, and you are not a monster.
Recently, netizens shared moments when they laughed only to realize later it wasn’t a joke. The responses are funny as well as mortifying.
One person giggled when a colleague said his car was on fire, and it genuinely was. Another burst out laughing when a friend mentioned their grandmother choked on a banana and passed away. Most said the regret hit almost immediately. But by then, the chuckle had already escaped.
These aren’t wicked or evil laughs. Just a human reflex — and there’s a surprisingly fascinating reason why your brain does it.
Keep reading to find out about it.
I was at a pirate themed costume party and a woman was dressed as the coin from the first Pirates of the Caribbean. The costume was pretty big, you could only see her head and legs, so I shouted across the room 'hey it looks like you have no arms' to which she replied that she didn't. I laughed it off thinking she was joking...nope...she literally had no arms. I've never been more mortified in my life.
I was chatting with an elderly security guard at the movies and he was talking about having a degree he never used. He said "now, I only use it to decorate my bedroom wall." I laughed and he said " you laugh now, I laugh about it sometimes, but I cry most of the time".
Monday morning guy comes up to my desk says my car is on fire I respond laughing and saying okay. Guy say no I am serious, look out office window 10 foot flames shooting out of the hood of my car.
Edit: Saw people asking about make and model so it was a 1996 ford Crown Victoria pretty sure there was a lawsuit over it at one point. Tried looking a bit only one I found was on the gas tank issue for early 2000 models.
This bizarre malfunction is officially called nervous laughter, or dimorphous expression.
It’s when one emotion, like fear or grief, produces the outward expression of its opposite.
When a situation gets too dark or uncomfortable, your brain panics and searches for an escape hatch. Inappropriate laughter then works as a psychological shield.
A 2015 study from Yale University found that our brains use “incongruous expressions,” such as crying when happy or laughing when terrified, to restore balance.
When you are hit with an overwhelming wave of negative emotion, your brain forces out a positive one to stop you from having a complete meltdown.
I work at a nonprofit. My boss needed to fill a position, so he sent me to a job fair to collect some resumes. I found "Kevin", a young guy full of energy and enthusiasm with over a decade of fundraising experience.
Me: So, when is Kevin starting?
Boss: Actually, I hired someone else.
Me: Hahah! Seriously, when is Kevin starting?
But it wasn't a joke. Boss hired a dimwitted, sleepy old guy with no discernible skills. I guess he felt they had more in common. Three years later, the old guy got fired for never actually finishing a single project.
The most striking evidence for nervous laughter came from a very unsettling experiment done in the 1960s.
During the study, researchers asked participants to administer electric shocks to strangers, with shocks increasing from 15 to 450 volts.
The strangers were actually actors who weren’t really being shocked — but the participants didn’t know that. Most of the participants, as expected, showed signs of distress.
But some also laughed when they heard screams, and the nervous laughter increased as the voltage went up. While the chuckles may have come across as rude, these participants clearly felt distressed when administering what they thought were painful punishments.
I have a slight hearing problem, which has led to several awkward faux pas situations. The worst one was when I was a cashier at Walgreens.
A woman came up to pay and I asked how she was doing and she replied with a sigh and a "Oh I just found out..." I couldn't hear the second part so I asked her to repeat. I still couldn't hear the second part and I didn't want to make her keep repeating, but her delivery sounded like a dry joke so I just politely laughed.
She gave me the dirtiest look and said "What's so funny about my husband having cancer?"
I definitely heard her that time.
When I first met my best friend at uni she showed me a picture of her brother. I laughed really hard at the picture and said "why is he pulling such a silly face?!" - "Ummm he's got Down's Syndrome." *cringe*.
One time I walked into my school and I looked at my friend who was very upset and said "what happened? Your cat pass away?" (It's an Italian saying) and he said "no, my mom did"
I laughed for a while because he was one to make those type of jokes, little did I know..
Inappropriate laughter, as uncomfortable as it can be, plays an important role in overall emotional regulation.
“When we laugh at a good joke or a comic routine, we tend to feel more relaxed afterward. Nervous laughter serves a similar function, allowing the individual to discharge anxiety and relax a bit,” says clinical psychologist Joe Nowinski.
Studies also show that laughter activates the endorphin system in the brain, the same receptors that are activated when using drugs like heroin. It literally produces pain-numbing and mild euphoria effects.
I used to have lunch with this guy I worked with. We became really good friends. All of a sudden he stopped coming to my office. I asked him why and he told me it was "Because I think you have a crush on me and you make me very uncomfortable". I am also a Guy who is 12 years younger then him. He is very ugly and has cerebralpalsy. I laughed then I realized he was serious. He has an extremely jealous wife who put all these weird thoughts in his head. As soon as I realized he wasn't joking I said "Do you realize how ugly you are?". I was in shock and it just came out. I felt really bad.
I was pretty ignorant in high school, and our friend group was one that would bust each other all the time without many boundaries. A friend was telling us about how his father died of breast cancer at the lunch table. I thought he was messing with me so I kept laughing, telling him to quit his b******t. Me being a f*****g dumb teenager assumed only women could get breast cancer, and just rolled my eyes when he kept saying it was true. This proceeded for the entire lunch period.
It wasn't until after lunch period was over and someone else came up to me and confirmed the fact that I realized what a gigantic a*****e I had just been.
Going to middle school and needing to make a phonecall home (before I had a cell phone) from the office, the secretary said, "It'll cost you 50 cents."
I laughed. She didn't.
That was the moment I realized that despite being a good kid, adults suddenly wouldn't like or trust me simply because I was in middle school. It was jarring.
Neuroscientist V.S. Ramachandran, in his research, explained that laughter first appeared in our history to tell those around us that whatever made us laugh wasn’t a threat.
Think about the last time a friend tripped and hit the floor. Your first move was probably to laugh. Not because you’re cruel. But because your brain ran the math instantly: they’re moving, no blood, no broken bones.
This is also why, when a toddler takes a tumble and looks up with that wobbling lip, a parent’s instinct (after making sure they’re alright) is often to smile or laugh before the child has even decided how to react.
“Perhaps laughter serves a self-regulation function. That is, it is ordinarily associated with happiness and may help to down-regulate the nervousness. Or perhaps, laughter in combination with nervousness suggests to other people around the person that they too should help down-regulate that nervousness,” says Margaret Clark, professor of psychology at Yale University.
Met with a custom wedding ring maker. He asked what my budget was and started at $20k. If I had a drink I would have spit all over him. Felt bad that I laughed in his face. He was totally serious. My budget was $2k.
Edit: My highest comment by a longshot is about laughing in someone's face. Meh, could be worse.
I will try to reply to everyone. I have never gotten this many messages ever! Thanks guys!
One of my most uptight friends is a reiki healer. When she first told me, I burst into a fit of laughter. I thought she was making fun of herself....she was serious.
This happened to me a few days ago. I received a private facebook message of what I can only call word soup. It was seemingly random, but just barely cohesive enough to make sense at times.. like really riding that uncanny valley.
I assumed it was some sort of bot that used markov chains (like /r/subredditsimulator) from scraping posts on my friends list because it had references to things, places and people I knew and even posted photos from people's albums.
So, I screenshotted it and posted it because it was legitimately hilarious. I mean it had such winners as "IF your her love you have to prove all others are inferior to you in bed, with Jill."
I was like, "Hey everyone, check out the weird ramblings of this bot!"
An hour or so later, I got a message from another friend that explained that this was actually an old mutual friend from high school who had suffered a psychotic break and was schizophrenic. Sometimes he goes off his meds, or his family doesn't keep an eye on him and he makes tons of facebook accounts and messages this s**t to people. They'd been getting them for years, and I must have fallen into his crosshairs.
Suddenly it wasn't so funny anymore and was rather tragic. I deleted the post and continued to block the next 6-7 aliases that kept sending stuff like that all night. Went from hilarious, to sad, to alarming in the span of a few hours.
Some people also build a habit out of it. Every tense moment and awkward silence can be met with a chuckle. They’ve learned, usually without realizing it, to use humor as armor.
It’s called a defense mechanism — an unconscious strategy that helps us cope with anxiety, stress, and emotions that feel too large to sit with.
The cruel irony is that the more uncomfortable you feel, the more you laugh; the more you laugh, the more uncomfortable everyone else gets.
I was taking a cave tour in West Virginia and at one point the tour guide said "Scientists believe that these markings on the rocks were made by erosion from rainfall over time. But WE know that it was actually created by the waters from Noah's flood." I laughed unpleasantly and involuntarily, and the guide glared at me for the rest of the trip.
"You can't wear ponchos on campus anymore because we've decided it could possibly be offensive to...someone" at a Student Union meeting.
It was the pause before someone, the entire lecture theatre took it as a funny joke about political correctness. She was deadly serious.
Ok. So I was at my best friends high school Grad party at his house, and he invited some of his other friends not from our school to come too. I always goofed around in high school and today felt like any other day.
This kid, who was nicknamed 'Beateys' and I were getting along fine when I noticed some type of string hanging from his waistbelt. I couldn't really make out what it was so I assumed it was a tag to his clothes or something similar. Being an immature, unaware high schooler, I thought nothing of the context of where we were, or thinking anything would be inappropriate for me to crack a remark or joke. I took his string and started tugging on it and even asked 'Lol what is this, your stupid inflatable pants?"
He looked down and didnt give the reaction I was hoping & he turned & said "No, j*****s, it's actually my insulin pump." Which is where I found out his name wasn't Beateys, it was 'Betes. Y'know, short for Diabetes.
Many experts advise against suppressing this emotional response whenever possible. They believe that laughter, in general, helps calm us and signals submissiveness to those we are interacting with.
But when it becomes a cause of distress, experts say what helps is working on the underlying anxiety — the fuel — rather than the laugh itself. “People who feel that they suffer from frequent social anxiety can benefit from practicing strategies such as mindfulness meditation,” suggests psychologist Joe Nowinski.
I was a preteen at bible camp and one of the leaders was sharing the story of his upbringing. It got real intense and he ended that intense part of the story with "And now my brother is an alcoholic!" His tone and the timing was rather comedic and I thought he was doing that to break some tension and without thinking anything else of it, I let out a huge, organic "HA!". Everyone turned to look at me. I tried to fake a coughing fit to play it off. Don't think it was very convincing.
A girl that wanted to become our new flatmate, when asked what her hobbies were: "I enjoy sleeping". I laughed. She didn't.
Those who laughed at a car crash, a terminal diagnosis, or a colleague’s genuine distress are not all terrible people. It’s because their brain, under pressure, reached for the only exit it could find.
The next time nervous laughter catches up to you, you might not be able to stop it. But you’ll know exactly what it was, why it happened, and that you’re not alone in this.
Please keep in mind, I was, like, 11.
Back when I lived in a a foster group home, me and some of the older guys were playing on the Xbox. One of my foster brothers stopped and started making funny faces at me. He was a chill guy and we got along well and joked together, so I laughed and made faces back.
He was having a seizure.
I was chatting with a future tinder date and he was an actor. I asked him how he got into it.
"I broke my leg while being the quarterback in high school and tried out for the musical and got the leading role."
"Haha nice what really happened?"
"That's what really happened."
I don't think I've ever met someone who had quite as wholesome of a life as he did.
2 years ago today, I was getting the kids ready to go to a local water park. My husband was taking out the trash. His phone rang. I answered, his mom(who was supposed to be meeting us at the water park) said she needed to talk to my husband immediatly. He walked in the door at that moment. I handed him the phone.
A minute goes by and he says, "I'll be right there." and drops his phone on the table.
He looked at the cieling and said "My sister is d**d."
I was thinking he meant like, she got in trouble in the "OMG my parents are going to k**l me" type way, since he said it so calmly, so I grinned at him and said "What did she do?"
Then he said "She ove***sed.".
When I was a high school freshman, there was a girl in my class who said "I have never kissed a boy and wouldn't unless we're married because I don't want to get pregnant from the kiss."
I immediately laughed, until I saw her confused look and realized she's being serious.
That was the first time I truly thought the US education system has failed us.
In my master's degree course some 14 years ago, I first heard the term Aspberger's and busted out laughing thinking someone was kidding and saying a*s burger as a joke. True story.
At college orientation, my group was told that we were going to see an improv show later in the day. When we got there, it was one of those acting troupes that does shows about alcohol poisoning and date r**e and stuff like that. We all kind of tried to politely laugh through the show because we felt bad that it wasn't funny (or even well done) and we were under the pretense that it was comedy. We totally got yelled at, but at least one guy pointed out that we were just trying to be nice to a group that we were told were comedians.
(This one's a doosey.) My ex's brother's ex-girlfriend. Everything that came out of her mouth was serious. I laughed every time.
*Looks at CD Case* "Made in Mexico? But they're a third-world country, how do they have CD technology?"
Ex's Brother to me while the four of us were at the fair. They split off from us but he came back first, "So she said you're very mature for your age." I laughed. I was older than her. She didn't know this. He continued, "When I explained you were actually older she went quiet. I don't know where she is." She came back after a palm reading thinking she got an age increase...I laughed again and she was d**d serious.
"Aren't ants just baby wasps? I mean they look similar!"
"No Hawaii is in Cuba. It's not in the US."
"Cats are always female and dogs are always male because they're the same animal! S****l dymorphism!!" (She learned that phrase and used it for three weeks straight...)
Edit: Remembered one. "Horses have teeth?!".
Years ago, a coworker told me never to drink water from a pond with a beaver dam because I could get Beaver Fever. I laughed. He informed me that it's a real thing and his dad died of it (Giardia). I felt SO BAD.
"We just got a call that the church messed up and the wedding isn't at 11 am anymore..."
Two days before my sister in laws wedding. I started hysterical laughing. "Can you imagine?!"
I didn't need to imagine because the family was living it.
When a girl told me she accidentally used the wrong spell (witchcraft) and k****d a cow.
Watching HBO - the national TV premiere of some movie made by universal pictures - pre-torrenting in my family - no one had seen this movie yet. Universal pictures logo appears (cue universal writing over lovely image of the earth)
Sis: I've seen this movie before.
Mum and I: mild laughter, thinking that's not a bad joke
Sis: no really I'm sure I've seen this before.
Mum and I: hysterical laughter.
At an eating disorder clinic in the weekly meeting the staff told us that the neighbours had complained that their cats were vomiting - they thought we were feeding them or something. I was snickering because it sounded to me like they thought we were contagious.
A disabled guy at my university walked like he was a slapstick comedian doing a bit on funny walks.
I didn't know him or have any classes with him. (It's a very large university.) I'd see him every few weeks, walking outdoors, and -- again and again -- I'd think it was somebody *trying* to make people laugh, and so I would.
After a year or so I finally remembered that he existed and that that his walk was not meant to be hilarious.
The other day I read about a guy who plays games on steam with his mouth and he is paralyzed from the neck down. Little did I know, it was not a troll and he actually is paralyzed. Felt really bad after that.
Last year when a couple of veterinary students, myself included, were having lunch.
I lose track of a conversation while on my phone and only heard the back end where a friend started listing symptoms.
Jokingly, I suggested they test the dog for Addison's disease. She was talking about her moms chemo side effects.
When I was in high school, I worked at a video store. One night when I wasn't on-shift, I went in to rent a movie. As soon as I entered, the manager dragged me outside and demanded to know if I'd left a bottle of p**s in the office. He was the kind of guy who'd say/do thing to s***w with people, so I started laughing. Fortunately, he didn't take that as a sign of guilt, and pointed out that if he'd been screwing around, he would have asked in front of everyone. I quickly stopped laughing. Turned out it was another employee's way of giving notice.
Dad Bods
I thought it was a parody of the 'real women have curves' movement. Then when I found out women *really* are all about the dad bod, I cried over all the hours I wasted in the gym trying to look good.
I was chatting with a friend in his car, waiting around, when he tells me he has to do laundry. Small talk, you know? He adds "I've been meaning to do it for 2 weeks! I haven't had clean clothes since. Even underwear!". I start smiling, because who would share that? BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! He follows by stating "I just turn my boxers like, upside down"
Now I start really laughing, and he keeps going and asks me "you've never done that??" with a concerned look.
I just said nope and lit a cigarette, staring away...
Bonus: his car was absolutely filthy, wrappings everwhere, soda cans, and a half finished sandwich from a few days prior. Should have seen it coming.
Ex-wife and I had been fighting for many months. I'd been sleeping on the couch. But I was staying there for the sake of the kids. One day she came home and she sits me down at the kitchen table and tells me the bad news, "You have to move out. I have a boyfriend now, and he's kind of jealous. He doesn't like the idea of you living here with me." I actually burst out laughing at the irony.
Wasn't laughing too hard, though, when I had to pack up my things and kiss my kids goodbye. They saw my bags by the door and said, "When are you coming back, daddy?" They were legit terrified they would never see me again. All I could say was, "I'll see you soon..." At that point I didn't even know where I was going to live.
Choose your partner wisely. Take all the time in the world to get to know them. Avoid this experience if you can.
I was shadowing at a high school and one of my stops was a Latin class. The teacher introduced himself but I couldn't understand him so I laughed and said I couldn't speak Latin. He actually just had a surprisingly thick British accent.
Not me, but a friend once laughed at my other friend's mother telling us their dog died.
I really wish I was earlier to this as my comment is gonna be buried, but one time I was complaining about some tough test or something to my roommate, and he said, "Oh, that s***s, but my insurance doesn't cover I care" and I burst out laughing thinking he had just invented a line on par with or better than "would you like some cheese with that whine?" and he stared at me blankly and said "Why do you find the fact that I can't get new glasses so funny?".
A girl invited me to her dorm room once. I assumed she just wanted to hang out. Then she asked me if I wanted to have s*x and I laughed, thinking it was a joke. Nope, she was serious.
Note: I laughed because I'd been crushing on her for a bit, but didn't think I actually had a chance with her.
I was talking to my mom's friend and she told me dinosaurs didn't exist and the evolution is a myth and I started laughing at her.
This one is embarrassing. I'm so sorry. I was talking to a friend who was a car dealer (high end cars) and a woman came into the showroom, nearly in tears. He asked if he could help her, and she said she had just come from (other high end car dealer) to buy a new car and they told her to come back with her husband. I laughed out loud and they both looked at me in horror. I had no idea this was a thing: It was 2012, not 1940, for cryin' out loud. (Even in 1940, it would have been rude, and poor business practice, BTW) He immediately treated her like a customer, and sold her a great car.
Somewhat relevant. I went to the Iowa State fair last year with a girl I had met on tinder. We ran into a friend of hers and she introduced us.
She was carrying a bucket of tiny chocolate chip cookies, and a little bit of chocolate had smeared on her chin. When I pointed it out to her and told her, she turned bright red and said, "it's just a mole.".
I always have a nervous laugh for any situations to the point I tell ppl about this quirk as a precaution. A friend of mine I havent seen in a while, was recently diagnosed with cancer and was prepping for chemo. I had no idea that she was diagnosed since I was out traveling when she decided to tell ppl about her illness.
She drasticly cut her hair so when I saw her again I complimented her on the bold fashion change when she realized I had no idea was going on and told me.
My friend is a joker so I thought she was joking and laughed it off, she kept insisting she was serious and I told her "Having Cancer is not funny, please tell me its a lie."
Good thing she was a good sport about it, I was laughing then nervously chuckling as she was telling me her situation. Had to tell her sorry if I laughed, my stupid personality has no idea how to handle sad news. She just told me to give her a good hug.
A girl writhing around on the ground at a festival. I thought it was performance art. She was actually having a really bad trip and paramedics were rushing over. The looks from her friends as I lamely tried to explain myself will haunt my dreams.
A guy said that anyone who takes any kind of d**g should be k****d by the government. I laughed and he said "no seriously, it would solve the problem".
*"My brother got his face blown off by a s*****n,"* she said.
For some reason, my brain immediately short-circuited and I thought of a *Bugs Bunny* cartoon...Daffy Duck getting shot in the face, his duck-bill landing some few feet away...
I laughed. The girl looked at me in horror. I tried to explain. I failed.
"Good morning ma'am. We've just arrested your husband for statutory r**e. Did you know your husband was having an affair with one of his female students?"
Yeah, it wasn't a joke.
While watching Snow White and the huntsman in the theater There is a scene where a magical deer or unicorn or something like that shows up and stands there all majestic like, then gets shot with an arrow and keels over.
I burst out laughing and my sisters looked at me in disgust.