Sam Levinson Emerges From 7-Year Drug Binge Horrified At What He Created
BEVERLY HILLS, CA—Staggering out into the blinding light of day, Euphoria showrunner Sam Levinson reportedly emerged from a 7-year drug binge Wednesday horrified to learn what he had created. “Wait, I did what?” said a shaky, bleary-eyed Levinson as he looked through his phone in an attempt to piece together everything that had happened since 2019, a wash of shame appearing to set in as he realized he had written, directed, and produced an entire HBO series. “Shit, shit, shit. I figured I was messed up long enough to do something stupid like call my ex, but I’m seeing all these texts saying that I turned Sydney Sweeney into a sexy giant and had her attack a skyscraper with her breasts. What the fuck? I can’t believe no one stopped me once I started writing the script! Do I not have any real friends? Oh man, I hope Zendaya isn’t mad at me.” At press time, sources confirm that Levinson had checked himself into rehab after coming across something called The Idol on his IMDb page.
