Simon Delaney on being one of the first ever First Daters
Charlotte Ryan speaks to Simon, one of the very first daters from the first episode of First Dates Ireland about his memories of filming the show and why coming back for the latest season was especialy "cathartic".
Ireland 10 years ago was a very specific time.
Depending on the time of year Trump still hadn't been elected President, Twitter (now X) was a fertile, culture-shifting community largely made up of creators, activists, comedians and people genuinely trying to connect instead of argue, and just a year post-Marriage Referendum the queer community was on a high.
Dating was different: conversations about exclusivity were less pervasive, polyamory was still in the dark and terms like 'gaslighting', 'breadcrumbing' and more hadn't become so prevalent that they'd entered memehood yet.
Then came First Dates Ireland, airing on our screen 10 years ago this week. Offering a glimpse into the dating habits of Irish people, it became an instant hit for a society that loves to have a nose in other people's business.
A chatty, outgoing waiter with a love for hearing other people's business, Simon applied for the first season. Single for nine years at that point, he recalls that the process came at an unusual time in his life.
"The first time I was in a bit of a weird place in my life", he says. "I'd been suffering quite bad mental health issues and had kind of had started the process of recovering, you know, and had become sober maybe a few months before I started the process. So the interview process actually was quite a cathartic one for me at that stage."
Paired with fellow bearded bald man Tynan, Simon says his date "ticked all the boxes", but also that "what we think we're looking for, it's not it at all". "He was a perfect match. I don't know, maybe too perfect, because just the chemistry, that extra layer of chemistry wasn't there."
Nine years later he came back for seconds, on the latest season of the show. So did he feel he had a better sense of what he was looking for?
"No", Simon deadpans, before breaking into laughter. "I feel less sure of what I want now."
It's understandable in a way - he'd lived quite a life in between First Dates episodes. Just a few days after his episode aired he met Tomas, and what started as a casual date turned into a marriage two years later. The pair moved to Valencia where they lived for years, before splitting and parting ways. "I ended up marrying somebody who I never thought I would", he says.
Now, he feels he's in a "reset" period in his life. "And I think that's kind of why I went on the show again for the second time."
Whereas last time he was "looking for love", this time around he very much wasn't. Not long out of a marriage, Simon was looking for something fun and relaxed, and says he was up front with producers. His date with Damien, a vivacious drag performer with the name Roxxy Diamond, was another pleasant one, but there wasn't that spark for either of them.
So with two episodes under his belt, what is it like inside the First Dates restaurant?
"The initial process is quite kind of stoppy-starty when you arrive first and they're filming you kind of walking in and 'let's do that, film that again and open the lift' and then you're in a holding area with other people."
But as viewers will know, all the cameras are hidden so "once you're in there, it kind of feels very natural", Simon adds.
Natural or not, you're still being filmed in an intimate and vulnerable situation, a recipe that 10 years ago titillated viewers even more than it currently does. What was the reaction to Simon's first appearance on the show, versus the most recent one?
"10 years ago, it was like, I really felt like a celebrity for quite a while afterwards because it was the first ever episode. There was like, you know, loads of interviews and pictures of me in the paper. I did the Late Late Show the first time!
"But this time it was much less so for me.
Another crucial difference: "Now there is more kind of trolling and hatred online after the show than 10 years ago."
Damien and Simon
Still, there can be moments that arise that we don't expect, just like in a normal date. One such moment on this season was when Simon told a story about his mum, who at the time was living with Alzheimer's and sadly passed last December.
After the episode aired the producers had clipped up his story in memoriam for his mum, which Simon felt was kind but wondered whether he'd want attention over that part of his life after all. In the end, it brought him some comfort in a challenging time.
"And again, it was quite cathartic, you know, just living out that kind of trauma in my life, you know, by going on a date and talking about it to thousands of people.
"I'm telling you, first dates is good for the mental health."
Watch First Dates Ireland on Thursdays at 9.35pm on RTÉ2 or catch up on RTÉ Player.
If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this article, you can contact; The Samaritans (phone 116 123), or Pieta House (1800 247 247).
