Hilary Duff Is Fully In The Driver’s Seat
What she’s focused on, she says, is family. She and Koma have three daughters together—7-year-old Banks, 4-year-old Mae, and 1-year-old Townes—and Duff has a 13-year-old son, Luca, with her ex-husband, Mike Comrie. Choosing to go on tour, therefore, is a loaded decision, one that Duff is still struggling with even though she ultimately knows it’s what she wants. Her kids will see some shows but aren’t touring with her—stops are planned across the US, as well as dates in the UK, Australia, Mexico, and Canada—and she’s working to be okay with choosing to do something for herself.“It’s a hard battle to fight to be like, Oh, I matter; I’m going to get a workout in. Why is there so much guilt around an hour spent in the day for yourself when you keep everything afloat?” she says. “It’s really so hard. And having a partner that wants what I want and can build me up and support me in the way that he has, I think makes a big difference. But also, your brain has to flip a switch and be like, I’m choosing this for me. I have to do this. My kids are going to be fine.”Though going on a world tour as a pop star is more glamorous than most day jobs, Duff’s guilt is familiar, and watching her make this choice feels radical. If Hilary Duff can raise four children and make time to create art, maybe it’s okay for us to choose ourselves at times too.The funny thing about this mom guilt, though, is that while society tells mothers they must continuously sacrifice themselves for their children, it’s said that children themselves are the ones who gain the most from watching their mothers live a full and rich life. As Duff grappled with what going down this path meant for herself as mother, it was her son Luca who provided her validation.“He came up to me after my LA show, and he was like, ‘I’m really proud of you,’” she says.“What a rad example to be able to set for our kids,” Koma tells me of his wife. “That you could be there for them in the capacity that she is—of all the things that she is, it’s a mother that she’s best at, and a partner and a family member. So I think it’s really special to see that come to life. She can do that, and she can also follow these passions in a very real and successful way.”
