Pros And Cons Of Social Media Bans For Teens
Australia and France recently enacted social media bans for children, with other countries considering similar legislation. The Onion examines the pros and cons of restricting social media access for teens.
PRO
Easier to talk shit about them behind their back
Prevents access to harmful material for the 10 minutes it takes to bypass safeguards
More time to raise children they were forced to carry to term
Ailing hula-hoop industry eager and ready for embrace of today’s youth
CON
School once again ruled by whoever has the most Pokémon cards
Unfair for teens to be less miserable than the rest of us
May seek dopamine through hugs, praise, or parental attention
No longer too distracted to pick up on dad’s affair
