The Apprentice turns failure into an art form – but I can’t stop watching
Someone get Lord Sugar a paracetamol! (Picture: BBC/Naked (A Freemantle Label))
The 20th season of The Apprentice kicks off tonight, and let me tell you, you’re in for a treat.
Now I must admit things get off to an inauspicious, dare I say even unremarkable, start as we see the classic cavalcade of business bores bragging to the camera as they wheel empty suitcases across an oddly deserted London.
You’ll hear the usual Apprentice-isms, stuff like, ‘I’d sell my mum for 50p off an Asda big shop’ and, ‘I run a bajillion-pound company, but for some reason I want £250k.’
You know, the classic things you see your local secondhand car salesman post on LinkedIn when you remember to check it every three months or so.
But don’t be put off by this humdrum start. This episode is brilliant, and I think this series is going to be special.
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Note: There are no specific spoilers here, but we will be talking about the episode, so if you want to go in with no knowledge, get off the ride now.
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Now, nominally, this is because it’s the 20th season of the show.
As such, the BBC and Alan Sugar have promised a season that’s bigger and better than ever before, and they kick things off in style.
For the very first task of the show, the candidates are flown to Hong Kong for the fan-favourite shopping list challenge.
As grand as this trip is, however, I’m convinced that this new series is going to be one for the history books, not because the Beeb are splashing some cash on it.
No, I think we’re in for a treat because if this episode is anything to go by, this year’s batch of would-be tycoons is even more useless than normal.
The Apprentice is back and better than ever (Picture: Ray Burminston/PA Wire)
Now, fans of the show are used to Apprentice candidates being as capable as a tissue paper brolly in a rain storm.But, in my 20 years of watching the show, I’ve never seen a group mess up quite like they do in this instance.
After this episode, when you look up the word ‘failure’ in dictionaries yet to be written, you won’t find a simple definition.
Instead, there’ll just be the words ‘The Apprentice season 20 episode one’ because the candidates have elevated dropping the ball to an art form.
This is Van Gogh’s Sunflowers of shambles, the Michelangelo’s David of disasters, maybe even the Citizen Kane of cock ups.
In fairness to the team above, they do well here (Picture: BBC/Naked (A Freemantle Label))
Needless to say, it makes for incredibly entertaining car crash telly, and if the candidates continue to screw up like this in every episode, then we might be in for an all-time best series.
I know, of course, there are those out there who will claim ‘this isn’t what The Apprentice used to be about’ and that they want to watch competent people succeed.
To those people, I say, are you kidding? Watching the candidates fail is the fun bit, and even now, after 20 seasons, The Apprentice formula just works.
Oh, good, his headache has gone… (Picture: Ray Burminston/PA Wire)
Will you be watching this series of The Apprentice?
No thanks, not for meCheck
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I just love seeing arrogant people in bad business suits have their oversized egos burst against the ever-irritated Lord Sugar like a watermelon in a Moss Bros suit being thrown against a scowling concrete floor.
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It is incredibly cathartic, and even better, I find special joy in watching the three or fewer competent people rise to the top each year. The ones who don’t talk about themselves as being a brand or a whole field of ponies, but instead have the good sense to realise this is a business opportunity, not a competition to see who can say the most inane things.
So be sure to tune in tonight for some chaotic fun and proof that The Apprentice still knows exactly how to make an hour of unmissable TV after 20 years in business.
The Apprentice Season 20 begins tonight on BBC One at 9 PM.
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