Spencer Matthews says he's never dealt with brother Michael's death
Spencer Matthews said he has never dealt with his brother Michael's death and reflected on carrying 'a lot of shame through his 20s' in a new candid interview.The reality star, 37, spoke about the impact of losing his sibling as he appeared as a guest on Davina McCall's podcast Begin Again.Michael died on Mount Everest in 1999 aged 22, after becoming the youngest Briton to reach the summit. He disappeared during the descent in the dangerous 'Death Zone'.He is likely to have passed away due to exhaustion, disorientation, or falling, with his body never recovered, with all of it being detailed in the documentary Finding Michael, where Spencer's quests are well-documented.'I never dealt with it really, because I never truly believed it at the time, firstly. Because he was a huge hero to me. I was very young. I didn't believe it when I first heard it,' he said.'My parents told me he's gone missing on the mountain, and then subsequently we probably won't see him again. And I just thought, "what a load of rubbish". I didn't believe it for a second.' Spencer Matthews has said he has never dealt with his brother Michael's death in a new interview (young Spencer is pictured centre with brother Michael, left) The Jump star, 37, spoke about the impact of losing his sibling as he appeared as a guest on Davina McCall's podcast Begin Again During his raw chat with the presenter, 58, the former Made In Chelsea star described his milestone achievement of two Guinness World Records as his redemption for 'regretting a lot' of his past behaviour.Spencer has done extreme endurance challenges, including running 30 marathons in 30 days in the Jordanian desert (most consecutive marathons on sand) for charity in 2024, and recently, two records for completing a seven-triathlon challenge across seven continents. Breaking down what he called a 'meaningful' journey of progress, he said: 'I feel much better than I thought I would. It's not so much a physical feeling, but very proud. 'And for me, that hasn't always been a given. You know, I've carried a fair amount of shame through my 20s and, you know, regretted a lot of my behaviour. 'And so for me to be able to express myself in this way is really meaningful, to me. It feels like real progress… And I'm just really proud of the team and what we did.' Elsewhere in the interview, the CleanCo founder revealed he felt his relationship with wife Vogue Williams 'slipping away' as he detailed how she helped him quit alcohol. The TV personality opened up about how wanting to be worthy of his 'amazing' wife, 40, who transformed every part of his life. When the host asked him: 'How have you become this guy?', Spencer replied: 'Marrying an amazing woman who I want to be better for, I think, has been very helpful.''Genuinely, the person I used to be isn't good enough for my wife.' 'I never dealt with it really, because I never truly believed it at the time, firstly. Because he was a huge hero to me. I was very young. I didn't believe it when I first heard it,' he said (Michael Matthews (L) with friend Jamie Everet (R) in front of Everest) Michael's story its captured in the documentary Finding Michael, where Spencer's quests are well-documented Elsewhere in the interview, the CleanCo founder revealed he felt his relationship with wife Vogue Williams 'slipping away' as he detailed how she helped him quit alcohol in a new candid interview (Spencer and Vogue pictured) Spencer said he made a 'very conscious effort to become better' when he first met Vogue - whom he married in June 2018.He said: 'I had big problems with alcohol. You'll probably remember on The Jump, I was a very heavy drinker. I went sober for her initially. It then immediately almost became for me, as well.'At that point, the two-time Guinness World Records star 'had no idea' how much that choice would eventually impact his life. 'I could just see the relationship slipping. I could see that she would lose interest in me and put me on some scrap heap somewhere if I didn't make an actual change to my own health. The fear of losing her was quite real.'Throughout the interview, Spencer heaped the praise on Vogue as he said: 'She's got it all. She's a very special person. And she lights up rooms that she walks into. She's immensely popular. 'I've never met anyone, really, that doesn't immediately warm to her. Incredible sense of humour. Very beautiful.'And you only have to spend a few hours with her around her kids to just see what a special mother she is, as well. Completely selfless and very special.'
