‘The last time my son was seen he stepped onto a train. He was never heard from again’
Get the free Morning Headlines email for news from our reporters across the worldSign up to our free Morning Headlines emailSign up to our free Morning Headlines emailKevin Gosden remembers his son saying “see you later, dad” when he set off for school 18 years ago as if it were this morning.Those ended up being the last words he ever heard from his 14-year-old Andrew, as what began like any ordinary day became a nightmare from which the family has never woken.Andrew waved goodbye as he left their Doncaster home on 14 September 2007 – but the family later pieced together that he never arrived at school.Instead, it emerged the teenager withdrew £200 from a cashpoint before returning home, once the rest of the family had left, to change into jeans, a T-shirt and his favourite bag. He then walked to the station and caught a train to King’s Cross. After that, he vanished.The family did not realise Andrew was missing until early that evening. Alarm bells rang when he didn’t come downstairs for dinner; panic set in only after a friend at the school confirmed Andrew had not attended at all – something entirely out of character.open image in galleryKevin Godsen with his daughter Charlotte, left, and his now-missing son Andrew, right (Kevin Gosden)“There was nothing about his behaviour that was out of the ordinary at all the evening before or at any time before he vanished,” Mr Gosden told The Independent. “We thought, ‘Something is deeply wrong here, we just don’t know what yet.’”That day has haunted him ever since. “I still live in it,” he said. “That panic-stricken sensation, that just doesn’t stop – it’s never stopped. It’s why I’m propelled through life by anxiety. It’s just awful. It’s absolutely paralysing...“I certainly did and still do have that sensation where you’re thinking, ‘Is this actually real?’ For quite an amount of time, I used to carry a needle in my pocket to poke myself with to work out if I was awake and alive or asleep and dreaming – but it stopped working as it crossed over into my dreams with nightmares and flashbacks. That’s where you are, you’re staggering through.”open image in galleryAndrew Gosden waved goodbye to his father as he left their house in Doncaster on 14 September 2007 – but the family later pieced together that he never actually arrived at school (Kevin Godsen)The Independent is joining forces with Missing People to launch a new, free, round-the-clock service that will be a lifeline for young people in crisis. Our goal is to raise £165,000 to help fund SafeCall, a service for the 72,000 children reported missing each year to find the support, safety and connection they need.Donate here or text SAFE to 70577 to give £10 to Missing People – enough for one child to get help.Mr Gosden has backed the campaign wholeheartedly, calling SafeCall “absolutely essential” and “an investment in people’s lives”. He has relied on Missing People for nearly two decades. “They’ve helped in so many ways over the years... really helped me get through some of the worst times.”open image in galleryMr Godsen with his wife Glenys (Kevin Godsen)He said Andrew’s disappearance – and the way it was handled in the early days – left him with enduring mental health challenges, including anxiety, depression and PTSD. These led to breakdowns and a near-fatal suicide attempt, and eventually forced him into early retirement.The family began searching immediately, handing out leaflets and putting up posters around Doncaster, London and anywhere Andrew might have travelled. But Mr Gosden said the initial police response was slow and disorganised – a devastating blow in the critical first 48 hours.“Their lack of trying to find him and the pressure they put on me caused me to attempt suicide, in which I was very nearly successful,” he said. “This is why I have anxiety, depression and PTSD. At that moment, I thought, ‘I need to get out of the way or they’ll never find Andrew.’”open image in galleryMr Godsen said Andrew’s best friend was his older sister Charlotte (Kevin Godsen)However, he stresses that since 2018, South Yorkshire Police have handled the case well, and he acknowledges under-resourcing likely contributed to early failures.Police have also acted swiftly in response to AI deepfake articles, images and videos falsely claiming Andrew – or his remains – have been found. “Imagine if they started getting shared,” he said. “It would absolutely destroy all the effort we’ve tried to put in the last 18 years to keep awareness that Andrew is missing.” The incidents have left him feeling “intensely anxious, powerless and helpless”.The family still has no idea what happened to Andrew, and the uncertainty, he said, is its own agony.open image in galleryMr Gosden described his son, who would now be 32, as a deep thinker who was ‘incredibly bright’, self-contained and self-confident, with a great sense of humour and a keen interest in rock and metal music like the rest of his family (Kevin Godsen)Andrew, who would now be 32, was a “deep thinker”, “incredibly bright”, self-contained, confident and funny. He loved rock and metal music, just like the rest of his family, and was best friends with his sister Charlotte, now 34.“Before Andrew went missing, I used to think losing your child must be the worst possible thing for a parent – but now I’ve come to the realisation that having no idea what ever happened to them is even worse, because you’re completely unable to resolve that in your mind,” he said.“People ask me if we think Andrew is alive or dead – it depends on which day you ask me. We don’t know. All we know is nobody found remains, and no one’s got in touch with information.”open image in galleryMr Godsen said that glimmers of hope remain – although on some days they are brighter than others (Kevin Godsen)Still, he said, glimmers of hope remain – some days brighter than others. “We try and keep hope alive that we’ll find out something.”Detective Chief Inspector Andy Knowles, who has led the investigation in recent years, said: “I'm in regular contact with the Gosden family and I'm incredibly grateful for their support as we work together to answer the questions which have remained unanswered for so long. We carefully consider any information received, ensuring it is recorded, catalogued and, where there are reasonable lines of enquiry, pursued.”Please donate now to The Independent and Missing People’s SafeCall campaign, which aims to raise £165,000 to create a free, nationwide service helping vulnerable children find safety and support.For advice, support and options if you or someone you love goes missing, text or call the charity Missing People on 116 000. It’s free, confidential and non-judgemental. Or visit www.missingpeople.org.uk/get-helpIf you are experiencing feelings of distress, or are struggling to cope, you can speak to the Samaritans, in confidence, on 116 123 (UK and ROI), email jo@samaritans.org, or visit the Samaritans website to find details of your nearest branch. If you are based in the USA, and you or someone you know needs mental health assistance right now, call or text 988, or visit 988lifeline.org to access online chat from the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. This is a free, confidential crisis hotline that is available to everyone 24 hours a day, seven days a week. If you are in another country, you can go to www.befrienders.org to find a helpline near you.
