NRI asks how to deal with 'identity loss' after moving to US
A 32-year-old man's post about feeling lost after relocating to the US has gone viral. Despite financial comfort, he said the emotional cost of moving abroad left him struggling to find meaning in his new life."How do I cope with the loss of identity after shifting abroad?" the man asked in a now-viral post on Reddit. He opened up about the internal conflict he faced after moving to America. He said the distance from India, the end of a relationship, and the inability to build new connections made him feel struck."Hi, I am 32M and shifted to the US last to last year, and even though I am making a good amount of money, there is a big void in my life," the man said.
"I feel like I've lost my identity," he said as he explained that all his happy memories were rooted back home. He said he tried taking vacations, hoping to feel better, but returned to the same empty mindset every time."I feel like I have lost my identity by shifting here. It’s so far from India that I can’t even go without spending a lot of leaves. I broke off my relationship since I shifted here and don’t want to invest time in dating now. I don’t have much social circle locally as I am not living on the West Coast where all my college friends are," he said.He added, "I have tried taking vacations, but after coming back from vacations, I sink into the same mindset. I have tried multiple times for promotion in my org, but with recent layoffs and market downturn, they aren’t promoting many people at the moment."Take a look at the viral Reddit post here:The post resonated with several non-resident Indians, who offered empathy and practical suggestions in the comments section."I love your take on this. I, too, have only been here slightly over a couple of years and have been putting myself out there by initiating conversations at the gym and asking people about their interests, if they play a sport and if they would be interested in playing a sport that we both like. I have also been trying to have lunch with my colleagues at work instead of eating by myself. Have come across some amazing people. One really has to put in the effort, or it’s going to be tough," a user said.Another added, "I'm going through a very similar transition. The way I look at it is, you will have to let go of your old self and accept that things are very different now. Rebuild your identity. It's a great opportunity to outgrow your old self.""I felt the same for a long, long time, and I still feel it sometimes. But what I realised was that the key to changing this feeling was to make friends. For me, what I needed was familiarity. Seeing the same people every day as I used to when I was back home. That changed a lot for me," one of the users said.See the comments here:While not everyone had a fix, several users agreed that grappling with identity after moving abroad is more common than it seems.For some, rebuilding from scratch felt daunting. For others, it was a chance to start fresh. Either way, the post made one thing clear: money can ease a move, but it can't replace belonging.Published By: Akshita SinghPublished On: Apr 19, 2025
