The Walking Dead star David Morrissey opens up about 'self-destructive' behaviour after father's death
Actor and film-maker David Morrissey has spoken candidly about being a "recovering alcoholic", opening up about the "self-destructive" behaviour that followed the devastating loss of his father.Morrissey has previously discussed how his father passed away from a haemorrhage aged 54 when he was just 15, having battled a long-term and terminal blood disorder.Appearing on Radio 4's Desert Island Discs with Lauren Laverne, the 61-year-old admitted he was in a "terrible state" following his father's death, reflecting on the "trauma responses", depression and anxiety that took hold in the aftermath. Morrissey recalled leaving school at 16, just a year after losing his father, and spending six months on the road with a Wolverhampton-based theatre company.READ MORE: Peter Serafinowicz makes cameo as ‘prime minister’ Nigel Farage in SNL UK skitREAD MORE: Evil husband jailed for 70 years after hiding wife's body in fertiliser tank as victim's family speak outHe said: "I knew that, academically, I was never going to be able to go to university or anything – that was never going to happen to me. So, I had to make it happen somewhere else. It was hard for my mum, but I knew I had to cut the strings and find independence. They say that hyper-independence is a trauma response. I do tend to cut off sometimes."I am a recovering alcoholic. I was someone who has been sober now for 21 years. That was all part of being in trauma and not knowing how to stop being sort of in a depressive state and needing to be on my own."The Liverpool-born star also shed light on his struggle with alcohol, saying: "Drinking first was about anxiety. I've had this terrible social anxiety and that helped me get through it." Morrissey revealed he began battling the condition during his teenage years, telling host Laverne that "in my adult life, I couldn't stop".He went on to say: "I was just on my own in the pub. That was really hard and very hard for my ex-wife and people around me. I worked with a guy on a job. He gave me his number and I knew he was in (Alcoholics Anonymous). Then two years later, I was in a terrible, terrible state, and I phoned him quite late, early in the morning time."He came round my house and just sat with me. And I've not drank since that day, really. So, it's been tough."Morrissey went on to say: "When I stopped drinking, I didn't stop being an alcoholic. My behaviour was still very self-destructive for many years."The actor, widely recognised for his roles in The Walking Dead and State Of Play, also opened up about feeling he was in "crisis", revealing that his career "rescued" him and makes him "feel safe". Morrissey explained that his passion for acting was sparked after watching an episode of the 1970s TV drama Colditz, starring Michael Bryant, in which the lead character "pretended to go mad in order to escape" from his circumstances.He said: "That troubled me. It really upset me. I identified with him, his character, his situation, and that sort of thing that bubbled up inside me. I wanted to find out how to control that or understand it. Therefore I went looking for acting, I went looking for a way out. And when I walked into the door of (the Everyman Youth Theatre), I found it. I found these people who were having fun but experimenting. It was about emotion. It was unashamedly about feelings."He added: "When I'm in work, I feel safe. Not necessarily in control, but I feel it's where I should be in my life. In my life, I'm less confident. I'm always looking for an exit strategy in every situation. I'm much better nowadays, but for a long time I was really telling myself I wasn't enough and all that stuff, and that added to the sort of the alcoholism and the inability to stop."The complete Desert Island Discs episode is available on BBC Sounds and BBC Radio 4 from Sunday at 10am.
