Mark Clattenburg admits he was 'closest to suicide' after Mikel John Obi racism storm
Former Premier League referee Mark Clattenburg has revealed that he contemplated suicide following false accusations of racism, and it was his infant daughter who saved him. The allegations were made by Chelsea's Mikel John Obi, who claimed that Clattenburg had made a racist remark during a match against Manchester United. The incident, which took place in November 2012, led to investigations by both the Football Association and the police. Clattenburg, who now works as a referee on TV's Gladiators, was eventually exonerated by the FA, and the police also dropped their investigation. But he told of the desperate period for his family while the accusations hung over him. He said: "The Obi Mikel situation affected me a lot and affected my family a lot. I think that was the closest I've ever been to, a, suicide and, b, finishing. If I didn't have a way out and I couldn't referee any more, what can I do? "If I'm a racist I'm not going to get a job in normal life. I'm not going to get a job in sport. My life's finished. So the consequences of my actions left us in a position where I'm thinking 'I've got nowhere to go'. My family was there, but they don't know what really goes on. They don't really know what happens inside the world of football." Asked why he didn't take his own life, he said: "My daughter. My child, because she didn't deserve it. "She was only little. I brought her into the world and it was my responsibility to look after her. "There were times when that was the one thing that was fine. If I was on my own, and I was single, that was the easiest decision in the world. But when you've got responsibilities, it makes us fight more." Clattenburg, 50, added on the High Performance podcast: "If I wasn't so strong-willed, I'm not sure I would be here today." Clattenburg, who also has a son Nathan from his first marriage, added that he would also have liked to have quit football but couldn't "because I had a mortgage to pay". He said: "I had a family to pay. "When you leave your industry, you become a professional referee. My industry was electrical, but unfortunately, because I'd been in football for ten years, or eight years, my industry had moved on so much I would have had to requalify, retrain. "There's a lot of other stuff, so I'd have to go through four, five years. At that point nobody would probably employ us. So I'm unemployable. "So it's not just about refereeing, I've got to protect my family. I've got to protect them financially." He said he first discovered the accusation against him at Heathrow. "I remember my mobile phone. It was a Sky Sports notification: 'Mark Clattenburg has been accused of racial discrimination against two Chelsea players'. And then the phone calls started. I was about to board a flight to Newcastle. "On the flight, I'm sitting and my phone was off. So I don't know what's going to be happening in the next 30 minutes. But I remember some boy sits next to us, and I'll never forget it. "He said 'you've had a bad day today', because he must have read the message. And the minute I landed, Claire. I'd had a newborn, she was only six months old, Claire's hysterical. That first few days everybody was thinking I was guilty." It was later ruled there was no case to answer. Clattenburg went on to ref the 2016 Euros final and Champions League final.
